he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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