Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
