what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
