Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
