she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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