We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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