soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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