no. you can't hotbox the world.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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