I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
