I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
