its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
