i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
