Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
