they need to just BURY HIM!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
