You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
