he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
