I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
