What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
