I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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