If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
