Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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