Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
