this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
