who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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