Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
