nut hugger
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
