dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
