office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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