i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
