He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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