You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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