It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
