I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I look better un-naked...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
