we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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