A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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