life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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