Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
