Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
