You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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