You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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