I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
