why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Randomize
