Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
