and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
