I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
