Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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