P.S. I can't hear my feet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
