The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
