I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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