He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
